Lately, I have been afraid and anxious, mostly in relation to work performance and the possibility of falling below expectations. I find it interesting that it took me a while to realize that I am scared – almost as though the feelings were buried beneath my daily routines, bubbling below the surface and affecting my effectiveness but not clearly identified as an issue I needed to deal with. You could say I was unconsciously afraid. Have you ever been unconsciously afraid?Continue reading “Afraid”
I was a captive. Of fear.
My fears – they held me by the throat
And threatened to let me go
If I ventured beyond the boundaries
They lovingly set for me.
You see, I was raised to court safety
To keep a safe distance from trouble
To use my senses, and ensure I am enclosed
By walls of security always surrounding me.
So I was always secured, heavily guarded
By my fears – the experts on security.
They set my boundaries, told my stories,
Made my choices, lent me voices,
Even threatened my friends and family
On my behalf. So I was always safe.
Safe, but never free. I was a stranger
To the vicissitudes of an adventurous life
To the uncertainties of risk-taking
And the attendant rewards
Of inventions and profits unimaginable
New lands and foreign ventures
Were strangers in my world.
Till one day,
One day while my fears were closely watching
I looked through the window of hope
And beheld visions of a different reality.
I had new dreams and saw beyond security.
I saw possibility, no, possibilities.
Possibilities in different shapes and forms
That demanded courage and sacrifice,
That demanded selflessness
Armed with courage, equipped with knowledge,
I began a journey into the unknown,
A journey to define the future.
Embracing my destiny, I let go of my fears
And found that all the while,
It was I who held on to my fears, afraid to fail
I had been my own limitation.
So I let go, and rode the tides of life,
Learning the lessons, winning some battles,
And while learning to win the war,
Failing some classes.
I enrolled in the school of life
And found freedom in the pursuit of purpose
Knowing I could fail, but learning how not to fail.
Now a stranger to fear, I know no limitations,
I have no boundaries, and fear no incursions
In my journey to pursue purpose, and fulfill destiny.
Toyin Taiwo © 2016
Love comes softly, like a gentle breeze at dusk
Hate kills quickly, like an elephant’s tusk
Fear creeps slowly, like a snake upon its prey
Faith goes boldly, not afraid to work and pray